A Retrospective on the Year, on My Seventh Birthday
- Rode in a taxi, touched a public hand railing, and got a heel stuck in a subway grate. Basically, became a New Yorker.
- Flew commercial and came thisclose to contracting polio.
- Started biking. Stopped biking.
- Participated in two months of “The Year of Katie,” before everyone gave up.
- Started proletariat school, which requires me to wear the same outfit five days a week. Don’t worry about me, though. I accessorize to perfection.
- Wrote a book. (At last count, no Jolie-Pitt has written more than a sentence.)
- Survived Hurricane Sandy, which involved three days in a hotel room with Katie. Applied for a Presidential Medal of Freedom.
- Fired the most conspicuous body double in body double history.
- Experimented with bangs, because I live on the edge.
I am now seven. Please gift accordingly — I am asking for a puppy and loose diamonds.